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Jun 12, 2010 10:22:24 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jun 12, 2010 10:22:24 GMT -5
MACGYVER-APPROVED TACTIC: "He was stranded for a number of days and just desperate for people to know where he was," said a spokesman for SaskPower, the electric utility is Saskatchewan, Canada. The unidentified man was lost in the wilds in the northern part of the province, and had no way out. But he had an axe, and figured if he cut down some power poles, the resulting electrical outage would bring linemen to repair the breech, and he'd be rescued. It worked like a charm, but two towns were left without power for about 30 hours, SaskPower says. "A lot of people are pretty upset about it," complained Ed Benoanie, a councillor of one of the towns affected, Hatchet Lake Denesuline Nation. When lost, he says, "stay where you are and build a big bonfire." (CBC
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Jun 19, 2010 20:40:56 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jun 19, 2010 20:40:56 GMT -5
CONVENIENT TARGET: Jim Harris, 56, was sitting in the recliner in his Tavernier, Fla., home when "I leaned over to turn on the lamp," he says, "and kapow!" -- Bubba fell on him. "Bubba" is what he calls the 200 pound stuffed head of a water buffalo, which was mounted on his wall. Harris estimates he was unconscious for two hours, and when he woke up he was trapped under the thing. He was able to reach his cell phone, though, and called for help. It took four rescuers to get Bubba off him. "I guess it's payback for the buffalo, but I'm not even the guy who shot him," Harris said. "This is so embarrassing to get my ass kicked by a dead water buffalo." (Miami Herald) ...Nature always gets the last laugh.
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Jun 25, 2010 11:46:07 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jun 25, 2010 11:46:07 GMT -5
AUCKLAND (Reuters) – A drunk driver trapped after overturning his car cracked open another can of
beer while he waited for emergency crews to rescue him, a New Zealand court was told.
Paul Nigel Sneddon, 47,
pleaded guilty to careless driving and drunken driving after being nearly three times over the legal alcohol limit in a district court in the city of Palmerston North, the Dominion Post newspaper reported on Wednesday.
Police found Sneddon, a former baker, trapped in his overturned Ford Laser on June 1, drinking a can of beer after he failed to take a corner properly and crashed through a wooden barrier, flipping his vehicle.
Defense lawyer
Peter Young said that when Sneddon found he could not open the doors, "he had nothing else to do at that point, so he had another beer."
When asked by police how much he had consumed, Sneddon replied: "Plenty, I've been drinking for four days straight."
Sneddon, who is estranged from his wife, told the
Wellington- based newspaper that he went on a drinking binge after losing his job at a bakery on the same day that he heard his father was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Judge Gregory Ross fined him NZ$1,100 (US$780) and
disqualified him from driving for 10 months. It was his first offence.
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Jun 26, 2010 16:01:10 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jun 26, 2010 16:01:10 GMT -5
WEEirD: Tehama County, Calif., sheriff's deputies were investigating a report of vandalism ahead of the 3-day "World Hemp Expo Extravaganja" -- or "WHEE" -- held near Red Bluff. A 5,300-gallon plastic tank was installed to provide water for attendees, but more than two dozen holes were drilled in the bottom, festival coordinator Jerry Doran reported. "We will just deal with it," Doran said, who thought the damage was done by "somebody with a very narrow mind." (Redding Record Searchlight) ...That wasn't vandalism, it was an attempt to create the world's largest bong.
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Jun 28, 2010 22:08:18 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jun 28, 2010 22:08:18 GMT -5
SOUTHWEST IS ALWAYS AHEAD OF THE COMPETITION: A Southwest Airlines cargo employee in Little Rock, Ark., was suspicious of three boxes being shipped to Ft. Worth, Texas, because they were "not packaged and labeled according to the company's rules," an airline spokesman said. Once a box was opened for inspection, police were called in: the boxes contained 40 to 60 human heads. No, "embalmed cranial specimens," said a spokesman for Medtronic, who said they were to be used for training doctors. Pulaski County Coroner Garland Camper says he won't release the heads until he is shown proper legal paperwork. "We're still talking about humans," Camper said. "I'm not just going to release a bucket of heads to go across the country without verifying that these were indeed lawfully obtained." (Arkansas Democrat-Gazette) ...You know a guy has been coroner for too long when he talks to the media about "a bucket of heads."
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Jun 29, 2010 21:25:58 GMT -5
Post by solidwaste on Jun 29, 2010 21:25:58 GMT -5
Never Piss Off A Nurse
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was A royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff.None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into His room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing..... After about 20 minutes, the man's Doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confessed..... "Not with a Daffodil."
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Jul 3, 2010 22:28:57 GMT -5
Post by yachtsmanwilly on Jul 3, 2010 22:28:57 GMT -5
WHAT PART OF "DO NOT TOUCH" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Willie Eugene Lewis climbed a fence (posted "DANGER: Hazardous Voltage Inside -- KEEP OUT!") at a power station in Talladega, Ala. He then climbed onto the equipment, says Police Chief Alan Watson, and suffered a 40,000 volt shock. ("Alcohol should not be ruled out as a factor," according to Watson.) Lewis then climbed back over the fence and walked to a hospital for help. He was listed in critical condition with burns over 90 percent of his body. The only specific injury Watson could bring himself to report was that Lewis "burned off his genitals."(Talladega Daily Home) ...Thus making "Willie" a rather unfortunate name.
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Jul 5, 2010 12:11:34 GMT -5
Post by yachtsmanwilly on Jul 5, 2010 12:11:34 GMT -5
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER: Known as "Touchdown Jesus" (or "Drowning Jesus") for its upstretched arms, and sometimes "Big Butter Jesus" for its creamy color, the statue in front of the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio, was a landmark, especially considering it was right next to Interstate 75. The $250,000, 62-foot-tall (even though it only depicted Jesus from the chest up) monument was built in 2004, but when it was hit by lightning, it was destroyed in minutes -- it was made from fiberglass and flammable foam. Good riddance, locals say: "If it was supposed to be here, it would still be here," said one. Rev. Darlene Bishop disagrees. "I knew that there would be a lot of critics that would say, 'Oh, Jesus didn't like it and that's why he done this'," Bishop said, adding the church will rebuild the statue -- perhaps making it even larger -- and this time, fireproof. Donations are streaming in. "We're not encouraging people to do it, but we're not rejecting [donations]," she said. Replacement is expected to cost $750,000. "We don't have no problems," she says. "Jesus knows how to get it for us and get it for us free." (Springfield News-Sun) ...In other words, it was insured.
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Jul 5, 2010 22:13:48 GMT -5
Post by solidwaste on Jul 5, 2010 22:13:48 GMT -5
Re: I can't believe it's not butter
In this time of need with the bad economy and people out of work, think about how many meals, or doctors appointments for kids $750,000.00 would provide. And they really think Jesus would rather have a new statue. This kind of shit makes me sick.
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Jul 6, 2010 6:35:19 GMT -5
Post by ppat324 on Jul 6, 2010 6:35:19 GMT -5
THE BUTT OF THE JOKE: "They have admitted that it was just stupidity and they wanted to see if it was painful or not," said Sgt. Brendan Khan of the Horsham, Vic., Australia, police. "Basically it was two mates in a shed having a drink." The two men, both 34, wondered if it would hurt if they shot each other in the rear with a pellet rifle. They took turns, and it did: both needed surgery to repair the wounds, though the pellets remain. "Apparently the surgeon said they'd make more of a mess by trying to get them out because they're so deep," Khan said. The unnamed men's weapons have been confiscated. (Australian Age) ...Pity. I was looking forward to more experimental results.
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